EP10: Trials and Triumphs: Lessons in Leadership and Purpose with Alex Demczak

Seth Waters (Co-Host): Well, welcome to the Purposeful Prosperity Podcast. I'm Seth Waters and I'm here with Jack Smith. And you know Jack. Jack is an entrepreneur, founder, investor, and world-changer. Excited to be with you, Jack.

Jack Smith (Host): I'm excited to see you, Seth.

Seth Waters (Co-Host): Yeah, we have a great interview today. I'm really excited about this one with Alex Demczak. And that was a great conversation.

Jack Smith (Host): Absolutely. Former Missouri quarterback. You know, I'm a sports nerd, so I really appreciate talking to them. I appreciate the athlete's journey. So it was very enlightening how honest he was with the highs and lows of what it is to be an athlete, especially as you move up the ranks. And I was really impressed by his story.

Seth Waters (Co-Host): Yeah, it's outstanding. One of the really interesting things that came up in your conversation is the idea of living through the struggle to find purpose and clarity. And he made the statement that people are impressed with your highlights, but they resonate with your vulnerability.

Jack Smith (Host): I loved that comment so much. Vulnerability is what purposefulness is really all about. Purposefulness isn't about how much of the wall we build to be the perfect person that we think, that everybody thinks we want it to be. And by the way, it's only us thinking that. Nobody else cares, right? And so it's in that vulnerability where community is really made, those deep connections, those partnerships, those relationships, that purpose, and that's the web that breeds the prosperity. That was very beautiful.

Seth Waters (Co-Host): Wow, that's wonderful. How important is it, Jack, for purposeful leaders to learn to stick with it through the hard times?

Jack Smith (Host): I mean, it's the key to success. Success doesn't happen once. It happens over a series of trials and errors and failures and starts. So if you start and you didn't get it right the first time as a leader and you quit, your whole team's going to quit. And that's not really how you get to where you need to go. It's not about your ego, right. That was something else that I think Alex said really nicely, is that the death of the ego is really the rise of the leader, because it's not about me, it's about we. And that's what we need to do as purposeful leaders.

Seth Waters (Co-Host): Wow, that's really good. Well, I'm looking forward to this interview. Let's dive right into it. Here is Alex Demczak.

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Jack Smith (Host): Welcome to the Purposeful Prosperity Podcast. I'm your host, Jack Smith, and I'm so excited today to have Alex Demczak. He's the former quarterback of Missouri, and he is now the CEO of Streamline Books that helps publishers tell their story in 16 weeks or less. Thanks for coming on the podcast today, Alex.

Alex Demczak (Guest): Jack, thanks so much for having me, man. I've heard amazing things about your show, and so it's an honor to be here.

Jack Smith (Host): Absolutely. Well, I'm grateful to have you. We were just unpacking before we got started here. You and I are the definition of the modern networking world and the Internet's power. We reached each other through our own social media, organic chatter, and that's really what networking and the Internet is really all about, the modern age.

Alex Demczak (Guest): What did our grandparents do, man?

Jack Smith (Host): Carrier pigeons? They went to the sock hop, maybe. I don't know, right? Did they ride their horses? Maybe? It's straight out of Tombstone, right? But I'm so honored to have you on the podcast today. Love what you're doing. I love sports. I'm a sports fan in general, and I use a lot of sports analogies and kind of what we do and really building teams and community is really what purposeful prosperity is really all about. And for you, I think that's kind of a key driver for why you started Streamline Books. Maybe tell us a little bit about your story, how you went from quarterback to author and why you do what you do.

Alex Demczak (Guest): Yeah, man. Well, thanks for setting that up. I was playing at Mizzou, not at OU, I apologize. I know you're an OU guy, but we have them on the schedule. I think a year or two from now when you guys enter the SEC.

Jack Smith (Host): The old school Big Eight is coming back, baby. The old school. I might predate you a little bit, Alex.

Alex Demczak (Guest): Exactly. But a little bit about my story. So when I was at Mizzou, I was honestly living the dream. And my first two years on the team, things were going great, it was kind of like up into the right. I was trying to do right by the program. I was just trying to be the guy that’s friends with everybody on the team, leadership-wise, growing in different areas. And going into my junior season, you have a yearly check-in meeting with your position coach. And I walked into the meeting room, and the first two years, it was super chill, no big deal. And I walk into the meeting room, and instead of one coach being there, there was three. And so I'm like, this is different.

And I sit down and I could see someone closing the door behind me, and I'm like, Well, I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, but this is not a good start to this meeting. And I sit down and this coach looks right across the table from me - big, tough football coach - he says, “Alex, we have over-scholarship at quarterback. We are bringing in someone to take your spot.” And it was like the world stopped when he said that all of a sudden, all these emotions flood in, right? And he's essentially looking at me, right at me and saying, like, “You are not good enough. You do not stack up.” And at that point in my life, Jack, football, as you know, as a sports guy, like that was my identity. That's who I was. Like, if I had a bad practice, like, my night was ruined. And he essentially is looking across the table and says, Alex, “You essentially have two options. Number one, you're cut,” like, thank you, but no thank you. “And option number two is you can stay on the team as this volunteer assistant coach.” Like, no pay. And he's like, “By the way, you need to decide in this meeting room what you want to do.” And as you can imagine, my mind is racing. I'm like, “What do I even say to this guy?” I was mad, I was frustrated, all these emotions.

And I just felt in that moment I was like, do I transfer? So I said, I guess I'll stay on as this assistant coach, whatever that looks like. Now I remember, Jack, walking out of that room, and I actually had to walk past the guy who took my spot. I knew who he was, so that was tough. I get out to my truck and I remember just letting loose. I mean, just crying, just being so humiliated. Like, here I am, this kid from a small town, all these dreams, and this is where my story ends. This is how it's scripted. In a million different ways, I would have never, ever wanted to script it this way. And the first practice was coming up, and I'm like, man, it was just like a trial in my life.

I'm thinking, what's my purpose? What am I here to do? I have this passion, and I feel like a skill and ability to play football. Why is this now? What's happening? And so I walk in that first day of practice and thinking, I'm going to have this big coaching role on the team. I'm like, you know what? I'm going to make this coaching thing work. They'll give me that free gear, that free swag. I bet you wear a lot of OU gear. That free Mizzou gear, they're going to hook me up and I'm going to have this big coaching role. And I walk in and one of these assistant coaches, he's like, Alex, come here. I want to show you your job, what you're going to be doing during practice.

And I'm like, sweet, man. Put me up in the press box. I can call plays, do all these big things. And I walk over to this coach, and he takes out this yellow flag, like this yellow practice flag like that a referee would throw. And he says, “Alex, what we need you to do is when someone jumps off sides and practice, we need to work on our discipline. We need you to take this flag.” And Jack, I'm just trying to give your listeners a visual picture here. It's a big detail. We can't miss it here. Okay, “I need you to take this flag and throw it on the ground like a foot in front of you.” I remember looking at this coach kind of like, “Okay, I don't know if I can handle that. Sounds like a pretty big detail.

Jack Smith (Host): A flag versus a football, man, I don't know how you can throw that.

Alex Demczak (Guest): Yeah, big transition, right? And I'm like, okay. The worst part is he demonstrated how to do it twice. And I was like, “Wow, thank you, you rocket scientist of a coach.” I'm like, okay, how long do you want me to do this in practice? The beginning, the end, he’s like “No, no, no, we need you to do this role the entire season.” And so, Jack, for the sake of time, like, my entire junior year, when I thought, I'm going up into the right, I'm moving up in the world, I essentially was cut from the team, and I was this flag thrower. I'm making copies at practice for the coaches, for the practice plan. I'm making coffee for the coaches.

I'm now having to make the other the quarterback who took my spot in practice, I'm having to make him look better, right? And it was a super challenging, really hard year in my life. And I knew in the back of my mind, you know what, I want to get back on the team my senior year. And so during that whole junior season, I'm running sprints at practice with the other players in my street clothes while they're in their pads. I did everything that I could to say, “You know what? I'm here. I'm going to continue to add value, even though this is not how I would have planned it.” And long story short, my senior year, just through staying with it, sticking with it, working as hard as I could, I got back on the team my senior year. We went to the Citrus Bowl.

It was like an amazing experience. But, Jack, the reason I share that story, to kick off this podcast is when I look back at all my years as a player, and the one year that I was essentially cut, my title was stripped from me, I would argue that the impact that I had that one year where I threw that darn flag over and over again, that was the biggest impact that I had out of all those years as a player. And the lesson I had to learn is that leadership requires no title. Sorry I just told that long story, but I really wanted to convey that I had to be humiliated in my life in order for myself to learn firsthand some of these leadership principles.

And I think for any of your listeners, it's like we all have trials and ebbs and flows that we go through. I didn't handle it perfectly. There were so many days where I'm like, negative, like, “Why am I doing this job? Why am I printing off copies for the coaches? I should transfer and go play somewhere else,” but I just knew that I was called to stay. And so I think for some of your listeners, when you're in that situation, you never know how you'll be used on the other side. Like, Jack, I believe, if it wasn't for me going through that scenario, you and I would not be on this podcast right now because I wouldn't be doing the work that I'm doing today. And so, man, I just think sometimes through fire we're tested, but on the other side, it's so cool to see how things end up.

Jack Smith (Host): Absolutely. I love that the death of the ego is really the rise of the leader, right? Because you can't lead if it's all about you. If you're the quarterback that says, “Hey, come look how great I am,” there's 33 other football players on that team that help win that victory. And if you're not talking about the contributions of them, then you don't deserve the podium stand. And I think that's what sports really is, a microcosm for that. It's a crucible to teach you those lessons, what a great gift that you were given. It didn't sound like it at the time, but I find for myself as well that those worst days of your life are often the best gifts. When you look back at them with a clear mind.

Alex Demczak (Guest): It's like those things that, rather than letting them define you, letting these hardships and trials refine you. And I think when it comes to your character, your foundational principles in life, the things that you really stand for, that's like, for me, it's like football was kind of something that was like a shaky foundation because I put all my hope, everything into that, and then in the blink of an eye, it was taken away. And so I think for me, it's like, what are the more foundational things in my life that, man, I try to live by? And I think you're right. It is sometimes those hardest days where we have this light bulb mentality go off of, like, oh, my gosh, what am I really all about? Who are the people that I can trust? Am I building trust with them and my actions in the way that I live?

Jack Smith (Host): Yeah, we try to celebrate failure at Fortuna because that's really where your greatest learning comes from. Nobody learns from winning. You just learned a way to do it. And whether it works again or not, you really don't know. You just found a way to succeed at that particular moment. And so we really like to celebrate the lessons that you learn in failure, and what a great lesson, even if it was hard paid-for and a complicated journey. But thank you for sharing. That was an awesome journey, and thank you for the ego-less way you learned how to contribute and be part of the team and lead.

Alex Demczak (Guest): Yeah, just what you just said is so good. Like a quote that I love is, “People are impressed by your highlights, but they resonate with your weaknesses,” right? And so it's so easy to try to walk around, oh, I got it all together. But it's a moment like that where you're like, “You know what?” Because the reality is, the guys on the team that year when I got cut, when I went through that tough time, I connected more deeply with those guys than ever before. Guys would say things like, “Hey, man, I'm thinking about you. Hey, thanks for sticking with it. Like, I would have quit.”

Jack Smith (Host): You’re their leader.

Alex Demczak (Guest): Yeah, it was those comments that got me through another week, another two weeks to where it was like, man, this is so challenging, but I'm here for a bigger purpose.

Jack Smith (Host): That vulnerability, right. I think that's where we build community and connection, right? When we think we got it all together, that's the wall we put up to, “Hey, I'm the all star quarterback. I got everything figured out - oh, no, I don't.” But that's what's real. It's always what's real. The wall that you see the superstars, the famous people, all of that. You're seeing mental health become kind of a regular topic where almost every one of my conversations, mental health comes up now. And I think especially for your generation, the millennials and beyond, you guys, you take that very seriously, and it becomes commonplace. Our grandparents, they didn't talk about that. This was one of those taboos, just like religion and politics. You just didn't talk about it. “I'm fine. Everything's okay.” And it's our responsibility as leaders and community builders to say, “Hey, no, I had a bad day, and that's okay.” And to ask for that help in that weakness is truly the strength.

Alex Demczak (Guest): Yeah, that's great, man. And I think I'm one of the millennials that during the pandemic, I was one of the people during The Great Resignation that quit my job, my full-time job, and I worked at an amazing company. But I think what you just said brings up a great point that whether it's millennial or Gen Z, this next generation - one, I know it's easier for people to rag on them. Like, they show up late to work and all these things, but the reality is they have some skills and abilities that are pretty incredible, but what they're asking is, “How can I be a part of something that I care about, that I'm invested in, that I can make a difference?”

And so I just always tell business owners when I go out and speak these different events, it's like, if you're not fostering a culture of not only buying, but love, respect, you're serving your people, it's not just all about you - if you're not building those things, don't be surprised when one of your top performers on your team says, “Hey, I just got an interview request off LinkedIn, and I'm talking with this other company,”  and they end up leaving, right? Don't be surprised. And I think we've seen that the last few years. And I guess as a millennial, I can relate to that in some ways. The average person, they say, works what, like, 90,000 hours in their life? It's like, for all of us, if we're doing this work for all these hours, shouldn't we be purposeful? Shouldn't we be impactful in the way that we do this work? And I think when you think about it like that, it really starts honing in on, hey, what are my things that I'm passionate about, what is actually driving me?

Jack Smith (Host): Right, I love that. That passion, the purpose, right? It all comes down to purpose. And when you build purpose into your prosperity, into the company, then all of your staff have the same purpose, and you're working towards that ultimate goal. People don't buy what you do, they buy why you do it. And that's really what this podcast is really all about. And so with that, I'd love for you to tell me a little bit more about Streamline Books. Right through your journey. Trust and character and just commitment is thematic throughout your journey. So tell me a little bit about what inspired you to start Streamline Books.

Alex Demczak (Guest): Yeah. So when I was a quarterback at Mizzou my senior year, Jon Gordon, who's the number five keynote speaker in America, bestselling author, he spoke to our team, and I went up to him and was like, “Hey, I want to do what you're doing when I grow up,” essentially, is what I said. And I said, “Can I be mentored by you? Can I learn from you?” And he said, “Well, are you willing to learn for free.” And I said, “Absolutely.”

And so I started managing his LinkedIn account, doing different things like this. That was seven years ago. And what's really amazing is that then turned into me doing speaking engagements on his books. He has The Energy Bus and many of these other bestsellers. And then in 2022, last year, we wrote a book called The Sale together about building trust. And what's unique about that is Jon and I, over the last six years, have built this trust, this chemistry. And so it was awesome to write a book about that. And so now the last year or two, last six years I've been traveling around, my message has kind of switched to all these teams, all these organizations, whether they're working remote or in person, how can they foster this culture of trust?

And so what's been amazing to meet all these great people is I go speak at these companies, and many times I'll meet people who say, “You know what, Alex? I love your story. I read your book, it's awesome. But I have a story too, or my grandpa has a story that needs to be told.” And I didn't really have a resource for those people.

I would just kind of say, “Well, hey, keep working hard. Good job, you can keep writing.” But I didn't have a resource. And so I co-founded Streamline Books two years ago with my co-founder, Will Severns. And what we do is we help people write, edit, and publish their book and their story within a 16-week process. And so they get a writer, they get an editor and a project manager. And it's really, for a lot of people, it's bringing a team around them for the first time. Maybe if you're listening, you've had maybe amazing business success or maybe it's just a mindset or a framework that you've created. We believe a book or podcast, things like that, we're on right now. They're obviously a business card for your business.

But also it's thinking about, is there one person out there that will be impacted by your message in your book? Because we're always obsessed within our culture, Bestsellers list or how many followers on social media. But I was reminded of this when one person showed up to one of my events last year. I was on my book tour, one person showed up and I had the opportunity. I was honestly frustrated when I walked in at first, but when I spent some time with this person, I was like, you know what? This was my one person today. And I think for me now that as I speak and travel and do all these things, it's like, you know what? Who is the one person who's the one person that we need to tell their story in a book? Or who's the one person that I need to connect with? And I think, Jack, we can all be asking that question of ourselves.

Maybe it's your family, maybe it's an employee. Who is the one person that you were meant to encourage today to be a bright, shining light for that person? And I think when you have that mentality, it switches from, “Oh, I'm so exhausted because I'm on this never ending cycle of trying to hit this Bestsellers list or get 1000 followers on this social media. It's more about how can I make the impact on one person today?

Jack Smith (Host): Absolutely. And so often that one person feels like an imposter, right? It's easy to tell a story to yourself of, oh, I'm nobody, and nobody has a story like mine or like my grandfather's or whoever that you might be. And can you tell us a little bit more about how you help them understand that everybody has a story that's worth telling?

Alex Demczak (Guest): Yeah, that's a great question. And honestly, I was a little bit humiliated. I was embarrassed when I had the whole situation where I got cut and then I made the team again, it was probably a year or two before I really started publicly sharing that a lot. Obviously, a lot of people knew about it and where I was at, but it wasn't until I really started to lean into that story and share it that I really started to see some unbelievable traction and I guess just even healing for me. And I think what's interesting now, when I go speak to companies, when I share elements of that story around leading without a title, it's funny that whenever after my talk, people will come up to me and they don't really talk about maybe the principles I shared. Maybe they do sometimes, but most of the time it's, hey, that story that you just shared about you getting cut, let me tell you about the time that I got cut, or let me tell you about the time that I got injured. And it's about them, right? And so we have this cool conversation and connection, and now they're able to tell me about a time they got fired at their job. And so there's this empathy, right?

Jack Smith (Host): It's community. That's what it means to commune, right, with one another like minded journeys. I love it.

Alex Demczak (Guest): Yes, exactly. And so I think to your question, man, it's like there's so many of us who think, okay, I haven't been on Oprah show, so, yeah, no one wants to hear my story, my framework. But that's just a straight up lie. That is a straight up lie. There's a stat that says 81% of people want to write a book, but only 1% do each year. And so to us at Streamline Books, that's a huge gap. And so if we can bring experts around each author that we get to work with, it's like, we can help them do that, obviously in an efficient process. But it should be fun. It's a cathartic experience. You're talking about your story, your framework, something that you've built, created, again, whether it's speaking or it's writing a book and publishing it, I think a lot of us think, well, if I don't sell a million copies, I'm a failure. Well, that's a straight up lie. Think about all the things that we do in life that maybe we don't sell a million things. We can still have success in those things, right?

And so I think to your question of if someone's struggling with their story, I think you need to define, okay, in a perfect scenario, if you were going to go speak to an audience or convey a message to a group of high school students, let's say, what is that burning message inside of you that keeps coming up? It keeps coming up, and you keep coming back to it. It's like, that's the book that you are meant to write. That's the message that you should be sharing. And I think for me, a lot of times, it's easier for me to kind of hide that humiliating story of me getting cut, not being good enough. But I've just noticed when I lean into it, it's really cool to see what happens, man. And truly, I don't think we'd be on this show right now together if it wasn't for going through that in my life.

Jack Smith (Host): Absolutely right. We got to learn how to connect and we connect to the vulnerable spots, not through the walls we build to show people who we think they want to see. Because at the end of the day, all we want in this digital world is a real connection. Thank you so much, Alex. I really, really appreciate it. So you've told me a lot about your purpose and kind of your journey. Now tell me how you're using the prosperity that you're generating and you're doing good in the world with that. Can you tell me a little bit more about that?

Alex Demczak (Guest): Yeah, I think for me, what I have become passionate about is, as I've seen myself, in 2021, I quit my job. What that forced me to do is that it forced me to really think long-term. And I think when I am going around to around 50 organizations per year, speaking, doing workshops, things like that, it's really made me focus-in on, for everyone that I get the chance to work with, it's developing this long-term mindset. When you think about the word “integrity”, the root word is “integer”, which means like a whole number, right? We learned it in school. And when you think about the fully integrated leader, someone that's had the biggest impact on your life, on my life, when you think back to that person, most likely that person has demonstrated integrity, right?

When you needed them, you could count on them, they were there for you. Right. And so I think what I'm trying to help people with is think forward 30 years from now and think, how will you look back on right now and say, you know, what? Did I steward the gifts and abilities that I had to my best potential? Because I do think we are all called. Jack, you've been so successful, we're all called to steward the things that we've been given. And I think for me, it's like this stewardship, it's actually a responsibility. We are blessed to be a blessing. And I think that's really the message is. In all the success that you have, for me right now, my focus with two kiddos at home and my wife, it's like, how can I not only win at work, but also win at home? And so when we talk about prosperity, that's it for me, right.

My faith and my family. And it's like, if I have those priorities in check, then, yeah, I'm going to perform better at work, but if I get those things messed up, not going to usually turn out very good for me. So I think, man, thinking long-term, when you look back at retirement age, how do you want to look back and know that you spent those 90,000 hours where you just had a cubicle hitting - nothing wrong with a cubicle - but if that's not your thing and it drains you like it was draining me, well, then take a step towards moving towards where you feel called to serve in the world. And I think you'll look back and be grateful that you made those steps. Even if it was hard, even if it was challenging, or even if it scared you. And so I think that's my message and challenge to your listeners is figure out what you feel like you're called to do and take one step in that direction.

Jack Smith (Host): I love it. And something that really resonated with me that you said there is prosperity is not the amount of money you have in your bank account, it's the number of memories you have in your memory bank. And I really, really like that because that really is that's what we mean. That's what we're trying to celebrate with prosperity. That's why I don't talk about money directly. It's not about the things, it's about the experiences, about the richness of your life. And it's the mental health, it's the family balance, it's the work-life balance. And so I really appreciate that. That's what we're trying to demonstrate and be the example for in the world. So I really, really appreciate it. You've definitely inspired me, Alex. If you inspired our listeners today, what's one action they can take today or tomorrow to make a difference in their own world? Or maybe if they think they have a story to tell, maybe they can reach out and have you to help them tell.

Alex Demczak (Guest): Yeah. If you feel like you have a story to tell, we would love to connect with you. You can go to writemybooks.com that's writemybooks.com. And Jack, for your listeners, we will absolutely throw a discount their way if we get the chance to publish or help them work on their book. And then my speaking website is just alexspeaking.com. So, yeah, Jack, man, we're vibing. Even though we got the Mizzou-OU rivalry going, man, we got a lot going on.

Jack Smith (Host): That's a respectful rivalry. We go back 100 years or more. So I dig that. Back before they had leather helmets. Well, I appreciate you so much, Alex. Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability. I'm grateful for your time and to get to meet you.

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